The gradient of this climb is no longer measured by the sounds of traumatic overtures. There comes a point in life where anxiety and fear seem to cancel each other out. Extreme tiredness, is also a sort of grace. In the face of exhaustion you become less self-effacing.
The blessing of experience has been gracious and kind to me. I no longer feel as though I am being asked to run a marathon without legs. I no longer feel the weight of traumatic rejection and abandonment within the totality of my being, but in the peripheral lens of my preconscious mind. The grief is manageable now...and ironically- because it has compounded. The death of my best friend placed all my whining into perspective. Life is a blessing. Life is always a blessing. Life is cyclical.