Monday, January 2, 2012

The Little Redheaded Prince

Our First Children's Book is Dedicated to Our Children with Love.

When I met my little prince- he was bouncing around with his underwear on his head. He has a laugh like no other and a singing voice that just makes my heart melt. The little redhead stole my heart in a flash. He is amazingly intelligent, and always offers a witty comment with a sly smile. He has made practical joking into an art form.

He's a lot like I am- musical, emotional, compassionate...confused with the way the world works.

" Why can't I just stay with you" " I thought you would be able to fix everything immediately"... and neither of us know what to say.

We can't talk about the custody case with him, and we wouldn't anyway... it wouldn't fix things.

The little redhead wants to be an adult now, wants to be included in adult discussions and decisions- but we want him to be a child, a very happy child.

He says things which concern me. He says things which turn my stomach over and evoke every protective mothering instinct I have. The things he says make me want to cradle him, to kiss the psychological wounds, to hold him until he stills. I want him to feel safe in the world.

My son is like an unfinished painting, right now...and I find myself praying that he can find his way out the catacombs of confusion (and possibly depression) and back into the light of childhood. " Do not let anger rest within your heart" is my mantra for him. " You can be angry, but you have to move through your anger and come out on the other side."

" Does X hate you? I think X hates you mom.." " Everytime you call X goes postal"

If you were small again, I would cover your eyes and ears.

He reminds me of the child in the book " The Little Prince", asking questions about the various planets. And right now he is in orbit, sailing through the black silent sky, searching for a foothold.

I do not want him to have a hard life. I do not want him to have to question and doubt the people that love him. I want the people that love him to be unified.

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